How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?

My "get off my lawn" rant.

First of all, I will allow you all to applaud me for the very clever title of this moderately impromptu post. Today, because it is something I have been unable to let stop festering, I have gathered you all here to discuss — in no particular order — film criticism, TikTok, the upcoming remake of Snow White, and the talented Rachel Zegler, who broke onto the scene as Maria in West Side Story not two years ago.

“But Josh, the character of Maria in West Side Story is not the same as the character of Maria in The Sound of Music, and the title of your post references the latter musical, not the former.”

Oh, hush, my good friend Bob Iger. Anyway. All of what’s been residing rent-free in my head started just a couple days ago when this article from the New York Times was bandied about on Bluesky, Twitter, and other social media platforms that you may use. (Threads, I guess? That’s probably still a thing? I don’t use it! You tell me.) The link I just shared is a gift link, so we can all read this article together and tear out whatever hair remains on our respective heads. The reported feature, by Reggie Ugwu, is not specifically about Disney, but because Disney is everywhere, it eventually turned into something related to the House of Mouse.

Let’s begin.