Sometimes a Fantasy
Are Mulan and Black Widow going to skip theaters and go straight to VOD, do not pass GO, do not collect 200 dollars? (Sorry, I got carried away there for a bit.)
That’s the $64,000 question for some “industry observers”, a phrase I am putting in quotes here to denote the fact that actual industry observers are not asking this question because they already know the answer.
The answer, I am sad to report to any hopeful readers, is no. Or, to be fair, I will rephrase. It is possible that Mulan and Black Widow will arrive on VOD and skip theaters entirely. It is also possible that you will win the Powerball, or be struck by lightning or witness an alien invasion. These are things that could happen. They are not likely to happen. So it is with Mulan and Black Widow.
This latest round of speculation comes courtesy of a YouTube personality, which is one of those phrases I know I have to accept as being part of living in 2020 even though it still rubs me the wrong way. Anyway: there’s a tweet or two out there by said personality, in which they imply they’ve spoken to some sources, and Disney is really considering putting these on VOD. These tweets have been taken by some websites as the closest thing to confirmation, inspiring posts I’m not going to link to because they’re pretty much clickbait.
First, let’s tackle the obvious: why am I so convinced that Mulan and Black Widow aren’t going straight to VOD? I don’t have sources of my own, as much as a prevailing sense that Disney, like any business, wants to make as much money as they can, and they stand to not make lots and lots of money by releasing these massively budgeted blockbusters on VOD. They also stand to make few friends by skipping theaters.
Think back a few weeks if you can. (I understand if you don’t want to. Bear with me.) When the dominoes began to fall in Hollywood, as studio executives began to grasp the severity of this pandemic, one of the biggest stories was Universal’s announcement that Trolls World Tour would open day-and-date in theaters and VOD on April 10. (That announcement has now basically changed to being VOD only, but that’s out of Universal’s hands.) Yes, if you wanted to see those wacky Troll dolls sing and dance their cute little hearts out in theaters, you could. But if you want to, you can rent the film for $19.99 for 48 hours.
For the consumer, it’s a fair trade-off. Even in the Phoenix area, the cost of two adult tickets and one child ticket would be more than the VOD price, and I don’t have to worry about obnoxious strangers ruining the experience, nor do I have to pay for concessions. No complaints here. (I mean, I’ll be real with you, as the father of a kid who loves the first Trolls, I’m sure I will see this even though I have no interest in doing so. I cannot stand the first film.)
This announcement sent shockwaves through the industry, as the trades like to put it, all the way up to the head of the National Association of Theater Owners, who said “Exhibitors will not forget this”, as if he’s a spurned lover or a tough mobster. This is how a theater owner reacted to the announcement of a mid-budget animated sequel going to VOD. Do you think he’d be happy if movies like Mulan went to VOD?
More to the point: would Disney? Mulan cost in the neighborhood of $200 million, not including marketing, and the fact that the studio would need VOD sales likely well above half a billion dollars to justify skipping theaters.
I’m honestly less annoyed by the YouTuber tweeting out nonsense into the virtual ether than I am by websites aggregating that nonsense in the quest to get traffic. (You’ll notice I’m not linking to these stories. They don’t need the traffic. Don’t give it to them.) Too often, websites with shaky holds on journalistic integrity try to argue that they’ve got a hot, incoming scoop, only to reveal that they’re embedding a tweet some person wrote with little to no veracity. Readers should do their homework, but rarely do.
It sucks that Mulan and Black Widow won’t arrive in theaters as originally scheduled. It does, and I say that despite not being terribly excited for either film. (Listen, at this point, I’m excited for almost any reason to get me out of my house. So I get it.) But that doesn’t mean Disney will wave its magic wand and give us these films on VOD. Again: it is technically possible that they will. But if Trolls World Tour going to VOD sent a shockwave through the industry, then Mulan or Black Widow doing the same will break it entirely.
Your Recommendation for Today
April is going to be a potentially exciting month for Disney+, with some new arrivals that actually merit interest because they’re more off the beaten path. (I say “potentially” because there have been a few examples where Disney+ lists titles in its press releases of what’s arriving on the service, and then…those titles just don’t show up. So we’ll see.) One title that is now on Disney+ has transitioned from other streaming services, and is well worth a watch: the 2012 animated adaptation of Frankenweenie.
The 1984 short was Tim Burton’s calling card before he started directing features like Beetlejuice and Batman. Featuring Daniel Stern and Shelley Duvall, the short is about a little boy who brings his dog back to life, a la Frankenstein. Fans of Burton’s visual and storytelling style will find a lot in that short (which is also streaming on Disney+), but they’ll also get a kick out of the 2012 animated film.
Featuring the voices of Martin Landau, Winona Ryder, Catherine O’Hara, and Martin Short, Frankenweenie is both a playful riff on old-school horror films — it’s entirely in black-and-white — and a sweet ode to the love between a boy and his dog. Even with familiar character designs (Sparky the dog looks a lot like the dog from Family Dog, the animated short that Brad Bird directed and Burton worked on back in the 1980s), Frankenweenie has the right balance between sweet and nasty, much like Burton’s best live-action features. If push came to shove, I’d recommend the short over the feature, but only the feature has made its arrival today on Disney+. No fooling.