The Disney Sidekicks/Henchmen Bracket -- Round Three

Well, friends, it’s just about time that we bid adieu to the year 2020. (Unless of course you are reading this in 2021, in which case you’ll simply have to imagine that you received this missive in 2020.) I think we can all agree that this has, on the whole, been a horrendous 12 months and we’re just about all better for saying goodbye to it.

One thing that’s not changing in 2021: brackets, brackets, and more brackets. Yes, if you’re still in the mood for a Disney bracket to lighten your day, if only for a minute or two, I will continue to be of service. (Until I run out of ideas, and please, don’t hesitate to give me ideas. A couple of errant Twitter conversations in the last week alone gave me three new bracket ideas.)

With that in mind, we have now moved to the Sweet Sixteen of the Disney sidekicks/henchmen bracket. So it’s time for me to reveal who I would send to the Elite Eight.

Day 1

(1) Genie vs. (4) Timon: So, let me start by giving you a spoiler. I can’t predict the future (and if I could, I would probably not spend much time on the outcomes of these brackets), but I can tell you that I would not send the Genie past the Elite Eight. Although I do adore Nathan Lane, and generally like Timon as a character, I cannot in good conscience vote for him. An excellent performance, but it’s just not quite as good as that of Robin Williams as the Genie, whose animation, design, and songs alone are enough to propel him forward. But only to the next round.

(3) Lumiere vs. (2) Sebastian: Now, this is a tough choice. Really, the top three seeds in this quarter of the overall bracket are nigh-unbeatable. They each got at least one classic song, they’re each distinctively animated, they each boast wonderful voice performances, and they each get some version of a character arc. But we’re not talking about the Genie now. This is almost a coin flip for me, but I am voting for Sebastian by a sliver. And I can tell you why. Lumiere, as voiced marvelously by Jerry Orbach, gets “Be Our Guest”. But Sebastian, voiced equally marvelously by Samuel E. Wright, gets “Under the Sea” and “Kiss the Girl”. Two great songs beats one great song. I’ll be curious, though, how hard-fought this battle winds up being.

Day 2

(1) Jiminy Cricket vs. (5) Thumper: This one’s no contest. Thumper is very funny and cute and all, but Cliff Edwards as Jiminy Cricket is an all-timer performance coupled with the most iconic song in the studio’s history. Sorry, Thumper.

(3) Baloo vs. (2) Tinker Bell: So, I’ve learned something fascinating in this bracket. Some folks really do not like Tinker Bell, specifically the version of Tinker Bell depicted in the 1953 animated film Peter Pan. During the last round, a number of Twitter users argued that the computer-animated version from the direct-to-DVD series is more charming. I…do not share this opinion! I have my fair share of issues with Peter Pan, but I think Tinker Bell is a deservedly memorable part of the film.

And yes, I would vote for her in this matchup. Baloo is funny and arguably the template for a lot of comic-relief characters in the latter half of Disney Animation’s output. “The Bare Necessities” is one of the studio’s best songs. But the animation on Tinker Bell, from her face to her flittery personality, is some of my favorite character work in any Disney animated film. I’d say sorry, but based on the ire I’ve seen, I will be shocked if Baloo loses this. I’m still voting for Tink.

Day 3

(1) Iago vs. (4) Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed: All funny hench-animals, but Iago in the original Aladdin is enormously enjoyable. He and Jafar make a hell of a pair.

(3) Kronk vs. (2) LeFou: I’m sure Kronk will win this. But LeFou sings one of the very best Disney songs of all time in “Gaston”. Kronk is funny! But Kronk doesn’t sing, and that puts him a rung below for me.

Day 4

(1) Smee vs. (12) Horace and Jasper: As you can probably tell, I would not have pegged Horace and Jasper as making it to the Sweet Sixteen of this bracket. (Every so often, I have an idea that this or that selection could cause an upset or two. This is not one of those times.) They may well move beyond this round, but not if my vote matters. (It doesn’t, but you know what I mean.) Smee, like Tinker Bell, is one of my favorite parts of Peter Pan, and I’m voting for him here.

(6) Sir Hiss vs. (2) Lucifer: On one hand, I do maintain that there’s a rabid anti-cat strain in Disney’s animated films. On the other hand, Lucifer is a lot creepier to me than the obsequious Sir Hiss. I vote for the cat.