The Disney Sidekicks/Henchmen Bracket -- Round Two

Well, folks, we had a day off because of the holiday, but the second round of the Disney sidekicks/henchmen bracket begins today. (I’m still not sure if we’ll have a day off for New Year’s, but it won’t impact this round.)

Let’s go.

Day 1

(1) Genie vs. (8) Olaf: One day in this bracket, I will vote against the Genie. (No, really, I will. I don’t know if you will, though.) Today is not that day. There’s no contest here. Genie moves on.

(12) Louis vs. (4) Timon: I wasn’t expecting Louis — who I like, but who doesn’t get quite as much to do in the back half of The Princess and the Frog — to make it this far. And I’ll be particularly shocked if he wins this matchup. “Hakuna Matata” is a great song, and Nathan Lane makes a meal out of a thinly written character. Timon for the win.

(11) Pumbaa vs. (3) Lumiere: Two very good sidekicks, but if I’m being honest…I can’t say no to Jerry Orbach. Not today. Lumiere wins.

(7) Maximus vs. (2) Sebastian: Sometimes, it helps to have a voice. Today is one of those times. I vote for Sebastian.

Day 2

(1) Jiminy Cricket vs. (8) Flora, Fauna, and Merryweather: Sorry, ladies. I’m with the cricket.

(5) Thumper vs. (4) Timothy Q. Mouse: This one’s slightly tougher, but I give the edge to Thumper, who’s — as the old folks might call him — a real sparkplug.

(6) The Seven Dwarfs vs. (3) Baloo: Here’s a genuinely hard battle, in part because it’s not just one dwarf you’re choosing. It’s two great songs against each other, it’s memorable performances one way or the other, and so on. I must go with my gut, and my gut says…the Seven Dwarfs.

(10) Gus vs. (2) Tinker Bell: This is not tough. Tinker Bell.

Day 3

(1) Iago vs. (8) Flotsam and Jetsam: It’s a fun Renaissance-era battle, but Iago is just incredibly funny in ways that few other henchmen are. Almost as evil as Jafar himself, as his name would imply.

(5) Lawrence vs. (4) Shenzi, Banzai, and Ed: I will stick up for The Princess and the Frog here, because Lawrence is a more complex henchmen-type character than most. Yes, the trio of hyenas are funny and they have their edge too, but Lawrence is pretty compelling if goofy.

(6) Pleakley vs. (3) Kronk: I don’t love The Emperor’s New Groove. But Kronk is great. Sorry, Pleakley.

(7) Pain and Panic vs. (2) LeFou: You cannot compete against a henchman who sings one of the greatest Disney songs of all time. Begone, demons.

Day 4

(1) Smee vs. (8) King of Hearts: Smee all the way.

(12) Horace and Jasper vs. (4) Judge Doom’s Weasels: I’m not sure which is more surprising. That Horace and Jasper moved on to this round, or that people argued that I seeded them far too low. These guys? Really? If it was a vote on villains, and I seeded Cruella this low, I’d see your point. Anyway, I vote for the weasels.

(6) Sir Hiss vs. (3) Honest John: Fun fact for any newbies: Pinocchio is my favorite Disney animated film. So. Honest John.

(7) The Huntsman vs. (2) Lucifer: The Huntsman is a really fascinating character. I’m tempted to vote for him, if only because he bucks the trend of most henchmen, allowing his fear and slight humanity to save Snow White. Lucifer probably wins this, but I vote with the Huntsman.