The Live-Action Performances Bracket, Round 1

Once more into the fray, friends. Yes, really, we’re doing another bracket, and this one’s all about deciding the best performance in a live-action (or mostly live-action) film from the Walt Disney Company.

First, take a look at the whole bracket.

Now, I’ll take your questions. Any questions you might have, please.

Is there no end to these brackets?

Well, hello to you too.

No offense meant, I just…you’ve been doing these brackets for six months, right?

And counting, yes.

Well…all right then. So, I see some non-Walt Disney Pictures films here. What’s the deal?

In the same way that previous brackets may have stretched the rules, the same is true here. The easiest way to clarify is that if a film was released by the Walt Disney Company, a performance in one of those films is fair game for this bracket. As long, that is, as the film in question is not fully animated.

OK, but why no Marvel or Lucasfilm movies?

Mostly, the reason is that I think that few of the films released by either of those Disney subsidiaries boast truly great performances. But also, I’ve tried to limit those out, because I may — perhaps — at some point in the near future have a bracket including films from those studios. Maybe.

You’ve got it planned out already, don’t you?

Your words, not mine. Let’s move on.

OK. So, at least one of these performances feels like it’s…not really live-action. Bill Nighy?

I will argue that his performance counts, for two reasons. First, the film itself is largely live-action. Second, if you’re familiar enough with the making-of for Dead Man’s Chest, then you know that Bill Nighy was on set in a performance-capture suit. There’s masterful computer animation overlaid on his body, but he was there. He wasn’t just cramped into a recording booth. It’s a full performance, in body and voice.

Why make exceptions at all? Why not just have all Walt Disney Pictures performances?

Well, two reasons. First, because I think it’s more fun. Second, because I would argue that at least a couple of the exceptions are from films that people already presume are Walt Disney Pictures releases. (The obvious example is Who Framed Roger Rabbit.) But again: I think it’s more fun this way.

Are you going to publish a newsletter every day with your picks? It’s a nice idea, but it kind of cluttered my inbox.

Fair. This bracket, I’ll post one newsletter per round. So the first two rounds’ worth may be long-ish newsletters, but better that than once a day.

Well, then, tell me what you’d pick for the first round.

Gladly! The following picks are in order from top left down, and then top right down in the overall bracket.

Day 1

(1) Bob Hoskins, Who Framed Roger Rabbit vs. (16) Christopher Walken, The Country Bears: Two wonderful actors, but only one wonderful performance. Hoskins all the way. Come on.

(8) Dennis Quaid, The Rookie vs. (9) James Mason, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: James Mason as Captain Nemo. I love baseball, and Dennis Quaid’s fine, but…James Mason.

(5) Emilio Estevez, The Mighty Ducks vs. (12) Jason Segel, The Muppets: The more I rewatch The Muppets, the less I like Segel’s performance. So, by default, I vote for Emilio.

(4) Bill Campbell, The Rocketeer vs. (13) Fred MacMurray, The Absent-Minded Professor: Like you even have to ask. Campbell.

Day 2

(6) James Marsden, Enchanted vs. (11) Shia LaBeouf, Holes: James Marsden is the secret weapon of Enchanted. I give him the vote easily.

(3) Rick Moranis, Honey, I Shrunk the Kids vs. (14) Dave Foley, Sky High: We may get into this in a later round, but while I like Sky High, it’s not because of the lead performances. I like both of these Canadian comics a lot, but I give the vote to Moranis.

(7) Anne Hathaway, The Princess Diaries vs. (10) Bryce Dallas Howard, Pete’s Dragon: In a vote I’m sure to lose, I’m giving this to Howard for her emotional work.

(2) Brendan Fraser, George of the Jungle vs. (15) Terence Stamp, The Haunted Mansion: Fraser, baby.

Day 3

(1) Julie Andrews, Mary Poppins vs. Emma Thompson, Saving Mr. Banks: Both legends, but it’s Andrews all the way.

(8) Geoffrey Rush, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl vs. Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Sky High: I have to give this to Rush. Barbossa, even in the first film, is more than a mustache-twirling baddie.

(5) David Tomlinson, Bedknobs and Broomsticks vs. (12) Bette Davis, Return to Witch Mountain: Listen, Bette Davis is a legend, but specific to these performances, I vote for Tomlinson.

(4) Denzel Washington, Remember the Titans vs. (13) Bette Midler, Hocus Pocus: Washington. Please. Don’t send Midler through for that awful film.

Day 4

(6) Tim Allen, The Santa Clause vs. (11) Hayley Mills, Pollyanna: I’m voting for Mills. Allen’s performance plays a lot grouchier for me as an adult than it did as a kid. Pollyanna to the next round.

(3) Angela Lansbury, Bedknobs and Broomsticks vs. (14) Dean Jones, The Love Bug: Angela Lansbury is a global treasure. Next question.

(7) Whoopi Goldberg, Sister Act vs. (10) Glenn Close, 101 Dalmatians: Whoopi Goldberg is the key to what makes Sister Act work; Close is fine, but it’s Whoopi for me.

(2) Richard Farnsworth, The Straight Story vs. (15) Jodie Foster, Freaky Friday: Foster’s the Oscar winner, but Farnsworth gets my vote easily.

Day 5

(1) Amy Adams, Enchanted vs. (16) Mark Rylance, The BFG: You know who should’ve won the Best Actress Oscar in 2007? Amy Adams, goddammit. Let’s move on.

(8) Tom Hanks, Splash vs. (9) Steve Martin, Father of the Bride: A difficult one — mostly because both of these men are better in other roles — but I give it to Martin.

(5) Lupita Nyong’o, Queen of Katwe vs. (12) Britt Robertson, Tomorrowland: I am not a big Tomorrowland fan, sorry. And Lupita Nyong’o is a treasure. So, come on.

(4) Lindsay Lohan, The Parent Trap vs. (13) Maureen O’Hara, The Parent Trap: In the battle of the redheads, I must give this to Ms. Lohan.

Day 6

(6) John Candy, Cool Runnings vs. (11) Ben Stiller, Heavyweights: Remember John Candy? God, I miss him. I’m voting for him.

(3) Jamie Lee Curtis, Freaky Friday vs. (14) Thomas Haden Church, George of the Jungle: Both very funny performers, but Jamie Lee Curtis as a teenager is next-level.

(7) Tilda Swinton vs. (10) James McAvoy, The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe: I’d never seen McAvoy before this film, and was charmed by him. But Tilda is Tilda.

(2) Michael Caine, The Muppet Christmas Carol vs. (15) Christian Bale, Newsies: Sorry, Master Bruce. I’m voting for Alfred.

Day 7

(1) Johnny Depp, Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl vs. (16) Jonathan Pryce, Something Wicked This Way Comes: I am sure we’ll get to the thorny issue of Johnny Depp’s personal life and/or the eventual obnoxiousness of Jack Sparrow. But today, I vote for Depp.

(8) Kurt Russell, Miracle vs. (9) Kirk Douglas, 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea: Kurt or Kirk? You can’t have a bracket like this without Kurt Russell. I vote for him.

(5) Nicolas Cage, National Treasure vs. (12) Angelina Jolie, Maleficent: I vote for a lot of the favored seeds, but not this time. I don’t much like the film she appears in, but Jolie’s well-cast and very convincing as Maleficent.

(4) Dick Van Dyke, Mary Poppins vs. (13) Buddy Hackett, The Love Bug: I know. It’s a terrible Cockney accent. It is. But I vote for DVD.

Day 8

(6) David Oyelowo, Queen of Katwe vs. (11) Jeff Bridges, Tron: I do not enjoy the Tron franchise. For that alone, I vote for Oyelowo.

(3) Timothy Dalton, The Rocketeer vs. (14) Charlize Theron, Mighty Joe Young: You know I’m voting for Dalton, friends.

(7) Bill Nighy, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest vs. (10) Al Pacino, Dick Tracy: We can debate how much of the work for Davy Jones is that of CG artists. Nighy’s still doing a lot of work in a very weird environment. I vote for him.

(2) Tim Curry, Muppet Treasure Island vs. (15) Robert Newton, Treasure Island: We save the best for last. I ride or die with Tim Curry as Long John Silver.