The Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction Bracket -- Round Three, Day Six

Be sure to bring your *death* certificate.

Hey, folks. Somehow, amazingly, we are approaching the end of July, which means we are approaching the end of…the first month of a very punishing summer in Phoenix. (Not that it wasn’t hot in May and June here, but man, this month has been rough.)

With it being another Monday, it’s also time for me to remind you that I’m publishing posts separate of these bracket updates once a week. Now, usually, my paid-subscriber posts are for…well, paid subscribers, as you may surmise. However! I wanted to give you all a peek into what you can get by paying either $5 a month or $50 a year. So today’s post — in which I dig deep into The Muppet Movie as part of the Hey, A Movie! series — is free to everyone. Check it out!

Now that you’ve enjoyed that essay, let’s dive into today’s set of matchups in the third round of the Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction bracket!

(2) The Haunted Mansion (DL) vs. (18) Seven Dwarfs Mine Train: There’s just no question here. The Haunted Mansion has to move on, and I can’t imagine I have to go into great detail to explain why. Sorry to those little men.

The Haunted Mansion (DL)

Seven Dwarfs Mine Train

(7) Matterhorn Bobsleds vs. (10) Dumbo the Flying Elephant (DL): The Matterhorn Bobsleds are not always the most fun ride to experience for the Tall People among us, but against the Dumbo the Flying Elephant ride — which, yes, has given us funny images of famous people like Billy Corgan looking depressed while riding — it’s not much of a contest. The Yeti over the elephant for me.

How about you?

Matterhorn Bobsleds

Dumbo the Flying Elephant (DL)

(3) Tower of Terror vs. (14) Country Bear Jamboree: I know some of you love the Country Bear Jamboree, but this is another no-competition battle for me. The Tower of Terror must move on, so that you can all get angry at me in a couple rounds when you have to choose between this ride or the Haunted Mansion.

Tower of Terror

Country Bear Jamboree

(6) Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run vs. (11) Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway: I would not have been sad if either of these attractions had fallen in the second round, but alas, here we are. And this is where my “Have I experienced this attraction?” bias must kick in once more. Because I have experienced Smuggler’s Run, even getting to serve as pilot along with my son once. And I haven’t yet experienced the Runaway Railway (give me a few months).

So for me, it’s the Falcon. But how do you vote?

Millennium Falcon: Smuggler’s Run

Mickey and Minnie’s Runaway Railway