The Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction Bracket -- Round Two, Day Six

Merrily on our way to nowhere in particular.

Good morning, friends, and welcome to a painfully hot weekend. (OK, it is at least painfully hot here in Phoenix, and while I understand it is hot everywhere — even though I hear from very loud and definitely reliable sources that climate change isn’t a thing! Seems believable! — it is approaching 120-degree hot where I live.)

Anyway, let’s not waste any time and dive right into the matchups you have to vote on today in the second round of the Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction bracket!

(4) Kilimanjaro Safaris vs. (36) Wishes: I think I have to admit something, if I have not already done so at one time or another in these newsletter posts. My interest level in fireworks shows is…not quite nonexistent, but it’s not really high. I like shows like Wishes well enough, but there’s only so high of a ceiling for these things, in my opinion. For that reason alone, I’ll vote here for the Kilimanjaro Safaris. You can’t always guarantee a great animal sighting, but the possibility exists; that variance of experience is a nice plus to me.

What do you think?

Kilimanjaro Safaris

Wishes

(13) Mission Space vs. (20) Incredicoaster: Here we have two attractions that I am honestly fine never experiencing again. It’s perhaps not quite at the level of an Alien v. Predator battle — because, as you know, whoever wins, we lose — but this is a lesser-of-two-evils thing for sure.

And with that in mind, I’m voting for Mission Space. At least there, I can choose the slightly less nauseating experience.

Mission Space

Incredicoaster

(5) Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (DL) vs. (37) Wild Africa Trek: While I do enjoy the Wild Africa Trek, Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride is that rare beast: an attraction that ends in Hell. (Rolling Stone TV critic Alan Sepinwall would argue this is a bad thing, but I do not!)

Mr. Toad. Vote for the crazy driver, folks.

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (DL)

Wild Africa Trek

(12) The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Undersea Adventure vs. (21) Disneyland PeopleMover: I have been on the DCA version of the Little Mermaid ride more times than I can count. Hell, earlier this year, my wife (who is a high-school teacher) FaceTimed herself on the ride to me and my kids so they could vicariously experience her class trip to Disneyland for a few minutes. I know the ins and outs of this attraction quite well.

I am voting for the PeopleMover, which I’ve only experienced once, when I was a little boy who wanted to be a big boy. (I have a strangely vivid recollection of the Tron-specific section of the ride, as captured in the video below, when I visited in the summer of 1990.) Part of it is the nostalgia of enjoying the PeopleMover the few times I’ve visited Disney World — the parks and tracks are different, but the experience is similar. Part of it is that I feel like the Little Mermaid ride is two-thirds of a ride. (Every time I ride it, I laugh inside at the silhouetted image of Ursula raising her fists to the heavens to express her anguish at Ariel and Eric sharing true love’s kiss. Yeah, that’s what happens in the movie too!)

Let’s move some people to the next round, huh?

The Little Mermaid: Ariel’s Undersea Adventure

Disneyland PeopleMover