The Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances Bracket -- Round Two, Day Three

I don't want to see this on your MySpace page.

Halt! You there! OK, that’s a bit old hat, but then, so is the quote from Iron Man in the subheader of today’s newsletter. (Remember when the first Iron Man all but begins with a reference to MySpace? Do you remember MySpace? See, kids, when some of us were your age, our social media leader was a smiling guy named Tom who sat by his computer before he sold his defunct platform for a gajillion dollars.)

Anyway. Who’s ready for some probably not very difficult matchups today? I know I am. Let’s go!

(2) Amy Adams, Enchanted vs. (31) Phyllis Smith, Inside Out: This one’s not difficult for me, at least. Yes, Phyllis Smith is quite good in Inside Out, but Amy Adams, as I have said before, should have won her first Oscar for Enchanted, instead of a) not being nominated and b) still not having an actual Oscar. Adams all the way.

(15) Patrick Warburton, The Emperor’s New Groove vs. (18) Timothy Dalton, The Rocketeer: I realize this will also not be difficult. If you know me at all (and if you’re here, you must know me enough), then you know how much I adore The Rocketeer. And Timothy Dalton is deliciously evil as Neville Sinclair, the Errol Flynn-esque matinee idol/secret Nazi. Great movie. Great performance.

But I know Patrick Warburton is winning this one, and you do too. If Dalton has to fall, he couldn’t fall to a better henchman.

(7) Robert Downey, Jr., Iron Man vs. (26) Bruce Willis, Unbreakable: And again: another one where I know who’s winning. We all know who’s winning this one. (If I had to select from the many, many, many films in which RDJ plays Tony Stark and he’s at his best, I too would choose the original story.) I do want to emphasize, though, that Bruce Willis’ work in Unbreakable is pretty damn top-notch. I’ve always liked Willis when he’s sly or sarcastic, and David Dunn embodies neither of those qualities. But Willis effectively reflects the haunted qualities that mark David Dunn as a father and as a superhero.

And yet. We know who’s winning. (Right?)

(10) Richard Farnsworth, The Straight Story vs. (23) Jack Black, High Fidelity: My final losing battle! Another matchup where I get who’s winning, I get why they’re winning, and I am largely fine with them doing so, but…also, folks, I am telling you that Richard Farnsworth is achingly emotional as Alvin Straight in The Straight Story. It’s on Disney+! It’s rated G! It’s a David Lynch movie! And somehow it works!

I get that Jack Black will likely take this one, but if I had to choose one stunner of an upset, I would choose Farnsworth here.