The Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction Bracket -- Round Two, Day Fifteen
It's time for your party!
Hello, friends, and welcome to a new week at the ol’ newsletter. Before we dive into today’s matchups in the second round of the Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction bracket, I wanted to point you to the essay du jour (du lundi? Because Monday in French is “lundi”) for paid subscribers.
Aside from the Out of the Disney Vault essay series, I’m also excited to dig into a handful of hybrid films from the studio that blend live-action and animation. And with what I’m calling the Disney100 series, we start with nothing less than…honestly, one of the strangest films Disney has ever made, or will ever make, The Reluctant Dragon. Check it out:
Disney100: The Reluctant Dragon
As you may have heard, it’s the 100th anniversary of the Walt Disney Company. These days, of course, Disney looms large over the entire entertainment industry, in ways that Walt Disney himself likely couldn’t have envisioned. Context — as we like to say here — is key. The Walt Disney Company that you and I are familiar with is a juggernaut beyond belief, boasting some of the most popular films of all time among its intellectual property, as well as worldwide theme-park resorts that set the tone for how all amusement parks operate, or at least serve as a bar against which to compare those other parks.
Now, enough chatter. Let’s get to the vote!
(2) Jungle Cruise (WDW) vs. (34) Gran Fiesta Tour: I like the Gran Fiesta Tour very much, but the Jungle Cruise — even though it can sometimes live or die on the quality of your skipper — is just about one of the best attractions the Disney parks have ever offered guests. There’s a reason it’s a high seed. Donald and friends cannot hope to compete.
How do you vote?
Jungle Cruise (WDW)
Gran Fiesta Tour
(15) Festival of the Lion King vs. (18) Slinky Dog Dash: I realize that my bias towards attractions I have experienced at Walt Disney World may slightly color my preferences. But I would argue that the Festival of the Lion King is just that good a show. Yes, fine, the Slinky Dog Dash roller coaster looks fun, but sometimes, good music and good dancing work wonders.
What do you think?
Festival of the Lion King
Slinky Dog Dash
(7) IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth vs. (26) Magic Happens: Magic may happen, but Illuminations: Reflections of Earth is maybe the best-ever nighttime show to ever grace the metaphorical stage of the Disney theme parks. I’m laying down that hot take, here and now. IllumiNations forever.
IllumiNations: Reflections of Earth
Magic Happens
(10) Indiana Jones Adventure vs. (42) The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (WDW): Winnie the Pooh can be found in many places across the Disney theme parks, but there is only one Indiana Jones Adventure attraction. (Let’s not talk about Dinosaur right now.) Indy may have an awkward way with words in the attraction, as I discussed in the first round, but the ride is an easy vote today.
What do you say?
Indiana Jones Adventure
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh (WDW)
Jungle Cruise vs. Gran Fiesta Tour? My favorite ride in Magic Kingdom vs. my favorite ride in EPCOT? That's not fair. It's just not fair.
Festival of the Lion King needs to win this one! The performers are so excellent, and the detail work on all the costumes is amazing. It's just an amazing show. I tear up every single time!