The Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction Bracket -- Round Two, Day Five

Some imagination, huh?

Good morning, friends, and I bid you a good Friday as well. I hope your weekend is going to be full of excitement and fun, and not just because we’re all going to buy extra IMAX tickets to Mission: Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One. (In all seriousness, I’m trying to get my older son to check out the original film — he’s recently gotten into some newer, lesser action films like the fairly limp Uncharted adaptation — and would love to take him to see this. We’ll see.)

Because it’s Friday, and the end of the first week of That Still, Small Voice offering a paid option to subscribers, I wanted to highlight a post I’ve just published to paid subscribers: a review of the new season of Apple TV+’s comedy/mystery The Afterparty. (I’ve seen nine of the episodes, so it’s not just a review of the premiere.) I’d tell you what I thought of the show, but that’d be cheating — click here to read more.

Now, though, it’s time to dive into more matchups in the second round of the Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction bracket! We’re a quarter of the way through, so let’s press on right now.

(1) Fantasmic (DL) vs. (32) The Barnstormer: I like Goofy. You like Goofy. We all like Goofy. But in this specific battle, Mickey wins. (Mickey usually wins, doesn’t he?) Seriously, though, it’s Fantasmic all the way.

Fantasmic (DL)

The Barnstormer

(16) Dapper Dans (WDW) vs. (17) Disneyland Monorail: For my money, there are few more aesthetically pleasing images in any Disney theme park than that of a monorail sailing above the grounds. I mean, look at this image (taken by @servoisnaked on Twitter).

I know, I know, that’s from Walt Disney World. But the point still stands. The Disneyland Monorail is often as aesthetically pleasing to look at, and a hell of a lot more so than a barbershop quartet. Sorry, Dan(s).

But how do you all vote?

Dapper Dans (WDW)

Disneyland Monorail

(8) Rock’n’Roller Coaster vs. (25) Swiss Family Treehouse: Listen, a man has to be honest with himself. This man (as in, me)? Not a fan of upside-down roller-coasters. I ride them from time to time, meaning I’ve gone on Incredicoaster a few times. And I’ve been on the Rock’n’Roller Coaster before too. But it’s not my jam. Adventureland is very much my jam, as is the Swiss Family Treehouse. I realize it’s likely not winning, but it gets my vote.

How about you?

Rock’n’Roller Coaster

Swiss Family Treehouse

(9) Grizzly River Run vs. (24) Autopia: Autopia being in the second round is a puzzler to me, but then, I’m predisposed to vote against it whenever I can. And hey, look, I can tell you to vote against it right now! Vote for Grizzly River Run! It’s the far more enjoyable rushing-rapids attraction in the U.S. Disney parks, and its presence in Grizzly Peak is part of what makes that land so underrated to me.

Grizzly River Run

Autopia