The Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction Bracket -- Round Three, Day Seven

Time for a dance-off!

Hello, friends! It may be a new month of the year, but it’s just another day here at the ol’ newsletter. That, of course, means that it’s time for four more matchups in the third round of the Ultimate Disney Parks Attraction bracket. There are just 8 spots left in the next round, and half of those will be filled today based on your votes.

Ready? Let’s go!

(1) Spaceship Earth vs. (17) WDW Monorail: This one is honestly pretty difficult for me. Arguably, you are voting here between two of the most iconic attractions in the entire Disney theme-park canon (if such a thing exists). How many more memorable images are there in the Disney lexicon than that of Spaceship Earth or that of the Walt Disney World Monorail soaring…next to Spaceship Earth?

It’s a tough one, but I will lean towards the big golf ball once more. Yes, the monorail is wonderful, but Spaceship Earth does a good deal more in its 15 minutes, even with some goofy animation in your ride vehicle’s screen. (Does that goofy animation still exist, by the way? It was there a decade-plus ago, and reminded me of JibJab videos. I would hope it’s been upgraded.)

Anyway, how do you vote?

Spaceship Earth

WDW Monorail

(8) Splash Mountain (DL) vs. (9) Enchanted Tiki Room (DL): So, here we are. On one hand, we have two memorable attractions, each from Disneyland Park. One of them is still open, and one of them is permanently closed (in spite of some very loud and angry people on social media, how ‘bout that). Both of them traffic in cultural stereotypes that are embarrassing at best, and flat-out racist at worst. (Anyone who doesn’t know the history of Song of the South might find Splash Mountain less problematic than the Tiki Room, but if you know…well, you know.)

So these are both, let’s say, imperfect attractions. Sometimes, though, the heart wants what it wants. And my heart often wants a Dole Whip. I can’t get that at Splash Mountain (especially now that it’s closed, a trifling matter). But you can not only get a Dole Whip at the Enchanted Tiki Room, you can even enjoy it in the middle of the show. That’s enough to get my vote.

How about you?

Splash Mountain (DL)

Enchanted Tiki Room (DL)

(4) Muppet*Vision 3D vs. (13) Fantasmic (WDW): If this was Muppet*Vision 3D against the Disneyland version of Fantasmic, I might vote for the latter. But against the Walt Disney World version, there’s no doubt in my mind that the Muppets should win.

What do you think?

Muppet*Vision 3D

Fantasmic (WDW)

(28) Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (WDW) vs. (12) GOTG Mission Breakout: You can guess, if you have paid any attention to these posts, which ride I think you should vote for. If you cannot guess, please know that you should vote for the ride that does not have anything to do with the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

Vote for the toad who goes straight to Hell.

Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride (WDW)

GOTG: Mission Breakout