The Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances Bracket -- Round One, Day Seventeen
Hey howdy hey!
Can you feel it, everyone? We’re halfway through the first round of the Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances bracket! We started with 256 seeds, and by the end of this round, we’ll be down to just 128. (For now, if my mental math proves correct, we’ve whittled it down to 192.)
Now, please keep in mind that just because the photo at the top is from a red-carpet event about the fourth Toy Story, you can limit yourself to the original with the first vote below. (I just couldn’t resist the goofy photo. Can you?) So let’s go!
(1) Tom Hanks, Toy Story vs. (64) Tom Holland, Onward: This is one of the easiest matches, in my opinion. I realize that lots of people enjoy the energetic, theme-park-esque acting of Tom Holland, and his voice work in Onward is very much in debt to what he does in the current spate of Spider-Man movies. (By the way, my wife and I have been watching some of the Spider-Man movies, both those featuring Tobey Maguire and those with Holland, of late, and…boy, it is just not flattering to the flatly directed new movies to watch anything Sam Raimi directed.)
I digress. It’s Hanks, in a walk. Without Hanks, you don’t get Holland (in this movie).
(32) Bill Campbell, The Rocketeer vs. (33) Minnie Driver, Grosse Pointe Blank: Now you know I’m voting for Bill Campbell. I realize many people love Grosse Pointe Blank, and I think it’s very funny too. But Bill Campbell is the Rocketeer. End of story.
(16) Lupita Nyong’o, Queen of Katwe vs. (49) Gwyneth Paltrow, The Royal Tenenbaums: If there is a tough matchup in today’s post, it’s this one. I will also acknowledge that this is another time when we should ignore seeding, because I think Gwyneth Paltrow is giving a career-best performance as Margot Tenenbaum. But I also have a soft spot in my heart for Queen of Katwe and Lupita Nyong’o’s fierce performance as the lead character’s mother. For me, it’s a coin flip. For you…well, maybe you’ll surprise me, but I bet that Royal Tenenbaum’s adopted daughter is moving on.
(17) Jason Lee, The Incredibles vs. (48) Danny DeVito, Hercules: This is also a very easy matchup for me. Jason Lee is, to be fair, given a gift in that Brad Bird wrote an effectively nuanced and complex villain in Syndrome. But the words “You sly dog, you got me monologuing!” are what they are — Jason Lee brings them to life. (Nothing against Danny DeVito, but Philoctetes is a fairly obnoxious character to me.) It’s all Lee here.
Tom Hanks’ work in the first Toy Story is a delightful throwback to his 80’s comedies. As Hanks grew into his serious roles it’s easy to forget how good he is at hilariously flying off the handle. While there’s plenty of nuance in the later films, Toy Story 1’s version of Woody is “Money Pit” Hanks with a pull string.
I bucked my usual poll trend and voted for Woody. You know what you did, Woody! But I'm giving you a pass just this once. And I voted for Lupita. If Paltrow wins, I will light some of her kootykat candles and burn your substack down!