The Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances Bracket -- Round One, Day Three

I'm 100% American, and I don't work for no two-bit Nazi.

Good morning, friends! It’s so close to the end of the work week (but we’re not even at Friday yet, I know), and I am currently writing these introductions in the past. (As in, days before you are reading it. But still in 2023!)

What does that mean for you? Well, not much of anything, so let’s just dive right into the votes. (And there will be no adjourning here — you get one vote!) Get ready for some difficult decisions!

(4) Albert Brooks, Finding Nemo vs. (61) Ty Burrell, Muppets Most Wanted: Some first-round matches are so easy that I don’t even need to detail why the obvious winner should win. Albert Brooks against Ty Burrell is one of those matches. Obviously, it’s Brooks. Obviously.

(29) Whoopi Goldberg, Sister Act vs. (36) Gilbert Gottfried, Aladdin: This, however, is a tougher matchup. Gottfried as Iago is an extremely funny performance (and one that does not call upon the late stand-up to go beyond his loud, deliberately grating style of humor). Whoopi Goldberg in Sister Act is hitting every beat perfectly, even if her lead character is less about one-note comedy like her competitor here. I will lean ever so slightly towards Goldberg, but this one is closer to a coin flip for me. How about you?

(13) James Woods, Hercules vs. (52) Owen Wilson, Cars: Owen Wilson will have his time in the sun later in this lengthy first round. That’s the important takeaway here. I will only say whatever else is true, and whatever you may or may not think of James Woods as a person, his performance as Hades is (to me) close to being as good as Robin Williams’ performance as the Genie in Aladdin. Yes, really. There’s no doubt in my mind that Woods should go far in the overall bracket, because…again, we are voting specifically on these performances. And that’s it. So now it’s time to weigh in.

(20) Julia Roberts, Pretty Woman vs. (45) Paul Sorvino, The Rocketeer: Listen, I know that Julia Roberts is going to win this matchup. I know it, and you know it. But if you know anything about me, if you have ever paid attention to me on Twitter or in my writing, or whatever, you know that I am absolutely voting here for Paul Sorvino in The Rocketeer. It’s one of my favorite films, and Sorvino gets to kill it in one of my favorite scenes in said film. You see, he may not make an…oh, just watch the scene. Watch it! And then vote. (For Sorvino. Please.)