The Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances Bracket -- Round Two, Day One

Listen well, ALL of you!

Friends, we’ve made it. We survived January (barely or otherwise), and now we have made it to the second month of 2023. Oh, and also, it’s time to get the second round of the Ultimate Walt Disney Company Performances bracket going.

We started the supersized bracket with 256 seeds, but now, as you can see here, we’re down to 128. Now, there are still going to be four matches per day in this round, but since there are half as many performances left, the round will take half as long. (By the time this round is over, we’ll have all sorts of undoubtedly high-larious Super Bowl ads to talk about.)

But enough talk. Let’s get to the vote!

(1) Gene Hackman, The Royal Tenenbaums vs. (33) Billy Crystal, Monsters University: There is no hesitation for me in this matchup (and I’m honestly a little surprised that Billy Crystal made it to this round at all). Gene Hackman is one of our finest actors, and his role in The Royal Tenenbaums is one of the best of his career (and I mean top five). Hackman should move to the next round.

(16) Pat Carroll, The Little Mermaid vs. (17) Patton Oswalt, Ratatouille: This one is a little tougher, but my resolve here is pretty firm that the winner should be Pat Carroll. Patton Oswalt does a very good job as Remy in Ratatouille, but much of that film’s charm goes beyond his leading role. And it’s true that The Little Mermaid is much more than Carroll’s flamboyant work as Ursula, but…I mean, listen, one of these people gets to sing “Poor Unfortunate Souls” and one of them doesn’t. Is it fair to Patton Oswalt? No. But life’s not fair. Sorry, dude.

(8) Eleanor Audley, Sleeping Beauty vs. (40) Michael B. Jordan, Black Panther: This is also a slightly tough matchup, but one in which I will lean towards the voice actor bringing a memorable villainess to life. I think that Michael B. Jordan delivered one of the more nuanced villain performances in the MCU (a not-at-all high bar to clear, mind you), but I submit that there are few line readings more bone-chilling than “Now you must deal with me…and all the powers of HELL!” It’s Audley for the win.

(9) Harrison Ford, The Empire Strikes Back vs. (24) Hayley Mills, The Parent Trap: Now, this…well, this is not a tough matchup at all. Sorry, Hayley Mills. There is only one Han Solo and his name is Alden Ehr—well, you know. It’s gotta be Harrison.